Monday, February 26

Another sleepless night

To my Best Friend, my husband:

It is 12:36 a.m., Monday February 26th, 2007 and once again I find myself crying in the dark winter night. Cold, wet, sad and alone. I miss you so!

Each day, I awake - empty and cold - nothing to share, nothing to giveI Attempts to move forward in each passing day, yet peace never comes.
Thoughts of you flow in my mind - as water flows swiftly along a rivers bank after a storm.

I did not know loving you so much - would in turn be my enemy.

Though I am grateful for our years together although not long enough, it is said that we had more in our years together than most will experience in their lifetime.

You shown me what it is to live a kinder and gentler life. You gave to me a pure, honest and loving home. You shown me how to live with dignity....To accept life on life's terms. To embrace the moment as a survivor, not a victim. Yet, I can not seem to feel any of this on any given day.

Fear is my motivator and solitude my friend. It waits patiently with each dawning day. It's presence welcomed, as I pray for it's consumption of my heart, mind and soul.

How will Iive with out you?!
One moment at a time.

Missing you
Your loving wife
Sam